For Your Eyes Only

Know Your Life.....as it goes by (concluding part)

2005-07-26T01:51:00.000-07:00

Ah….the concluding part of the series "Know your life…as it goes by", and yet it makes me wonder why do the most important lessons come at the last ?? makes me remember the quote "Life is a harsh teacher, you fall in the ditch much before you wonder why", but again, aint it life’s way of telling us look son, if you fall in the ditch again, accept that you dint learn the last time, rather than telling people that you dint fall in, but u in the ditch to measure its depth.

If the last parts (of this series) were read seriously and they made sense then this is something that will come across as a memory flashback to most people out there. The discussion in this very important piece will start from addiction to people, to moving on and evolving yourself into a complete individual.

If I were to assume a role of a psychologist for just one second and showed you a picture of the alphabet "C", what will be the first thing that comes to your mind…common common, think about it before you read further. I see it as an incomplete "O", two C’s make one O, and thats the way most people look at two people coming together, they fit each other perfectly, or so it seems, atleast for a while ! Now the contradiction, I believe, that we should be a complete O before we meet another O. If that did not make sense, let me explain, when two C’s come together to make an O they form an O out of dependency, call it a symbiotic relationship, they feed of each other, what one lacks is "complimented" by the other, firstly it starts of as a selfless act and expectations are never solid to be disillusioned. As time progresses the expectations turn to taken for granted status and then the power struggle begins, with people not realizing most of the times that this was what brought them together in the first place. So, I propose that we become a complete O first within ourselves so that we can get together with another O to form O2 (metaphorically speaking o’course) , which is the essence of our existence here.

To become a complete O in yourself, start by knowing people, feel them, and give all you can, I have often quoted a holy book "True gain is giving", when you do this you will feel your emotions on a much deeper level. People tend to get attracted to other people that they lookup to, or people they are looking to like. Love everyone that comes your way, it may sound utopian, but mould this into "Love everyone you love as equal", roughly translated, it says that as a child love your parents and siblings as equal, as a young adult love all your friends equal, as an adult love all your soul mates equal. Even if you do not like someone’s presence, excuse yourself from disliking them, if you cannot love them, its ok, but don’t hate them.

Addiction to people, often leads to the void inside of us expanding as we continue to feed of them even more as time goes on. A feeling often experienced is that of missing a loved one when they lose touch or you realize that your love is dependent on their reciprocating, who says love wants something in return, is it not the truest form self expression, "if you love ….u love …period" , you cannot stop loving anyone, this is the love experienced when two O’s come together to form an O2. Maybe my illustrations are weak, but try visualizing if u "loved" someone, do you love them now ?? If you love someone right now, can you see yourself in love with them after some time ? If there is an iota of doubt, STOP. You need to evolve yourself. That is what we discuss in the next part.

Evolving yourself is something you need to keep doing. As they say "It’s the journey not the result that is fruitful". Look at yourself in the mirror, and see your eyes, can u see yourself getting lost, it’ll seem very difficult at first, but then try loosing focus when you are looking at yourself :). You will keep getting lost among stories from your past. The day you can enter into "blankness" is the day you can see yourself in the mirror and see a truer you. A you that answers everything you have done and has the ability to love someone in a sense much greater than you ever experienced.

Just concluding with "Let go Let go Let go, because only when you do not look will you find love "

Please let me know how you felt about this series, and please be extra generous in pointing out my mistakes and misapprehensions

I dedicate this to a very sweet friend …Nidhi you know why this dedicated to you, and that is snuff for me. You have bestowed me with something very very precious, your responsiveness on my blog, and your attitude towards an unknown, unseen , unheard person.. May god bless you always, and I hope that you have what it takes to become a complete O.

Know your life...as it goes by (Penultimate...)

2005-07-15T13:58:00.000-07:00

"Forever we will go….and we will go hand in hand….its not what you see outside, the good and evil reside within you" – if any of you recognize this, this is the ancient Japanese quote that describes yin n yang, yea that’s right the funny shaped black and white description of good and evil.

In this continuing series, the penultimate part shall discover the energy that we all are a part of, how to see it, feel it and maybe even radiate it consciously. The last part of this article descends into the "dark side", most of you star wars fans would want to relate to this, but after you read it, lets see if you find this more appealing than "Return of the Sith"

Over the years, the thought of how weak and strong we can feel according to circumstances has been bothering me, I have often felt me feeling very weak after a confrontation in which I was put down harshly, or refused an explanation. I have also tried to extend the feeling of exuberance and elation, guess its not in our hands, but again if it were, I guess there wont be no emotions…right ? If there aint no sorrow, doesn’t joy lose its relevance. I remember an ancient Chinese saying "Only the bumpy roads realize the transitions as smooth"

So, to put it all into perspective, if I describe this as a flow of energy between people in a particular situation, it all comes good, people enter the group/ conversation with a "carrying energy", and during the process, if they gain confidence their energy increases, if they are put down or are abashed they lose energy. Now comes the all important question, how to feel this ? try doing this, close your eyes, think about your early days, your aspirations, in a place where you are in command of your life, and not circumstances ! me thinking about my about-to-be-born niece works.

What you will feel is an instant smile across your face, and a sudden booster shot that launches you into overdrive and makes you have a positive outlook, albeit for an instant, before you allow yourself to be diving into this abyss of never ending circumstantial oppression. The trick is to retain it and do it as frequently as possible, here are a couple of ideas that might work, for people that have kids, think about any of their annoying antics, believe me it’ll make u smile; for people in relationships, think about your first date or how your got proposed, and for singles, think about how you’ve always imagined your first date to go.

When you start to feel it….start doing your work and keep it as long as it goes, unless your sub conscious puts it away, in essence you are trying to fool your sub conscious to stay more happy than it allows you to :) .

Again, now that you have started to feel it, you will realize that whenever you are feeling low, you can instantly turn it around, over a period of time you will be bestowed with the realization of a gift "to radiate it to other people" to make them realize of this energy, and to control it. In order to commence the process you will have to tell them to look around what they see, and feel the energy themselves. You can help them by explaining to them the flow of energies that you have gained over your experiences.

And now, the final paragraph delves onto the dark side, I want to discuss this so that you can look into what it is to have control, both sides of it, when you gain the power of thinking about things and altering your current thought pattern, there is a chance that while beginning there maybe negative thoughts of your past that may make you feel even worse, and lose your energy, but its for you to decide to let it take control or not. Maybe this common phrase "There is a fine line between Genius and Insanity" describes it all.

Now that we are all done, let me reiterate the importance of yin and yang as quoted in the first paragraph. Its all about looking inside rather than searching for salvation outside, the gratifying act of pleasing your good and evil sides will be much more fruitful than an act of external attempt at salvation.

In the end, just this "For you have to look beyond the horizon to look at yourself…..What you see is all but only a part of what you do not see !"

P.S. --> The last part of the series, i.e. part 4 detailing about addiction to people, moving on and evolving yourself will be available soon enough, but today I have my bags packed and am all set to relocate to my new abode for 2 years at IIT .

I will have access to Internet not before 4 days, and that is why this post is a little long, so rejoice and smile all you can.

Know your life...as it goes by (continued...)

2005-07-14T00:26:00.000-07:00

We do what we do, but do we do what we want to do ? In this part two of this continuing series, lets start to explore our behavior, is it that we always do what we want ? You’ll be surprised to notice how often we behave and do things not on wants or need but on expectation, the semi dillusionary state that makes us do these things is strongly embedded in our sub conscious.

Here, lets try and explain something that is common enough for others to notice, yet extremely difficult for oneself, to start, of how about an illustration…..you’re having a conversation with someone, u say something that comes naturally to you and the other conversationalist responds "I was expecting you to say that, you always respond in that manner", I’d be downright astonished if someone came up and said they had never experienced this. In my opinion, continuing from the previous part, recognizing everyone as a person that carries a message is something we ought to do to be more alert. Not only will you be respectful & amicable, you shall learn to respect people for their content and not their color, creed, gender, social and financial background (credit to Martin Luther).

Lets come to the core topic, WHAT makes us do the things we do, I think most of agree its not need and want basis all the time, Well, according to me after reading many books and looking at the social pattern, it’s the "societal facade" or "societal drama" that makes us tick, Care for an example anyone ? How about the word "sorry", I am not of the opinion that you can get around murder by saying sorry, its not that, the whole idea is, if you did what you did, why don’t you accept that you did it, and repent by doing something to change the opinion rather than trying to misconstrue the persons perception by saying sorry, and doing next to zilch.

We all shun from the fact that somewhere down the line WE did it, so be it, as they say in hindi "hai tou hai, kya karein" the first part, true, second ..faulty, you can do everything to change the "hai" to "tha".

Think of life as this way, you are living your life as a first person story, what you do, happens to you, so why not do the things you WANT to do and be happy rather than do other things and hope to be happy, people will never stop expecting, you have to go up and start taking YOUR life by its horns and turn it around the way you like it, It might sound like an oxymoronic statement, but the first person story makes a hell lot of sense if you put a third persons perspective, like you are sitting on a drawing board, writing a cartoon strip, and watching your life as it goes by, difficult and divine like it may sound, but is not divinity inside us all ??…if whatever I said above does not make sense, maybe my concluding line will

"If you do what you have always done, you will get what you have always got"

Part 3 continues tomorrow, in which we talk about how we all need to experience the energy around us, and the dark side too....

Know your life..as it goes by

2005-07-12T08:49:00.000-07:00

In this first part of a total of four, I’m just gonna dive into some things I’ve been thinking over the years that went unexplained, I definitely believe in a higher power, but that some mysterious force controls us, well, ahem…that is something worth pondering.

I think we all control ourselves, for whatever happens to us is in a continuum of what we expect, and illustration of what some people call “sixth sense”, you are walking down a dusty road, heading to a ledge, you think the ledge is going to fall, and u discard it as fear, yet it falls……you think u haven’t heard from a friend, and they send u an email or a call or whatever….you are at home, thinking , god I’d give anything to have a chocolate cake today, and lo and behold, what is your wife/mum/girl friend baking ?..chocolate cake…..to dispose these thoughts as mere premonitions and coincidences is what makes us very dry

Think at it this way, if these were mere coincidences, would they occur over n over again, the thing is, our antennas aren’t up always, we only take notice when these coincidences come and knock us of our feet, we need to be more receptive, nothing happens by chance, we need to take stock of our lives, and listen to every clue that is passed on to us, you don’t go to a school just like that, you don’t meet people because of chance, there is a “purpose of meaning”, once you start noticing these, you’ll get to realize that you are living a first person story of sorts. You will take stock of everything that goes on, visualize beauty in all forms, you’ll see people, but the perception would be different…

Once you get this thing to work for you, you’ll be bestowed with a precious gift, the gift “to not make first impressions”, I for one don’t believe in them, but most of us do let the judgment juggernaut roll at the first time itself. I’ve been feeling so light really, and people are so beautiful…just look at them the right way. The thought that someone has something extraordinary to give to you, will give u a shot of inquisitiveness blended with amicability.

Life is too short to not know people, so go out, see the beauty that is our people, know them, feel them, and touch them

In the next part, we move on to how and why we behave the way we do…keep tuned in..same place same blog…24 hours later

Ek shaam us gum hue dost ke liye..

2005-07-08T07:39:00.000-07:00

Its funny how life goes on...n on most situations we react later...we arent perfect like 007 to know what to say and do at the right time..perhaps if we were mor aware of whom to talk to, what to do at times ..then our culture would be more giving ....neway I have been thinkin its been so many times, after I lost touch with a long lost friend...and today I remember them, with complete fondness even to the extremities of adoring them...so this one is dedicated to them, not my first attempt at poetry in hindi, but I need to get a lot better :)

Titled --> Do Shabd

Us khuda ne jab tumhe banaya hoga,
Ek alag hii surur chhaya hoga,

Jannat mein hii rakhne ka jab khayal aaya hoga,
tabhi hum sab ka khayal zahan mein hoga,

Bas tumse do shabd hi kahna chahta hoon,

Sangeet woh nahin jo swar suna jaayen,
Swaron ke madhya kii khamoshi hai sangeet,

Khushi woh nahin jo ek pal hasan jaaye,
har pal ek muskuraahat ka ehsaas hai khushi,

yaad rakhna in baaton ko hamari,
Is dostaane mein hii to basti hai zindagi hamari,

so for peepz who dont understand hindi, the translation will be available shortly,
or you can IM me for a faster response..

Also, people have been askin me my motivation behind these poems..well, Shortly i'll be puttin up an example of how I make up these poems..

Love, Peace..et al.
--Maverick

It don't Just happen in the movies....

2005-07-06T23:02:00.000-07:00

Its funny how life turns out....n when u actually look back its the choices you made for others that strike you more that at where you stand. I mean the confusing look can be deceiving, but hey check out the ambiguity...a tear drop can signify a collosal loss or an uncontrollable burst of joy.....similarly a smile can signify interest, yet very often its used by ppl as a secondary defense mechanism to overcoat their realistic feelings, ....ppl have been asking my motivation for these kinda writings, I mean I got a lot of queries on the poem in the previous post titled "just one more time" so my next post is gonna be about my inspiration n motivation

Till my next post, here is a short story in the form of a prose/poem if u will

Title : look in my eyes and be with me forever

There was this girl I once knew,

Everyone would gasp and say "what a view"

with eyes so blue and hair like spun gold

"By Jove' she's aphrodite", or so I was told

saw her crying one day, couldnt help but change my way

Much pestering, but to no avail, I tried to reason

She mumbled something, to which I tried to comprehend

she muttered again, "lost a parent ever ?"

With my eyes popping, and throat all dry,

all I could croak was "what happened"

She cried n cried, but my mind was on one thot,

I kept thinking if I would ever see her smile again

Time went on and like all tragedies

this left a mark on her,

and to my fearI never saw her smile again.....
pondering over the happenings, I looked at the mirror

hoping to get some brilliant idea from GOD

knowing wht I did, he dint come to my rescue

but determined I was, to gift this girl her smile

Like white rose to pink and then to red

this is how we grew close

from friend to special friend to love

I thot i was the luckiest, but a void was unmistakebly present

I remember the day, it was a spring evening,

I planned to pop the question, and I did

She kept lookin at a near window towards the sunset

Before she said anything, a surprise was on her lap

Like an uninterested girl on her B'day Party

she reluctantly opened the gift, lo and behold

she exclaimed....saw it...wept...shed a tear

In there was a picture of her father that said

"look in my eyes and be with me forever"

n then she looked at me...smiled and said

"look in my eyes and be with me forever"

*--------*

So hw'd this one go...mixed feelings et al.

lemme know

Cap'n Maverick

Just One More Time

2005-07-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking that not only is it important for people to come in your life to make it more beautiful, but its equally important for them to leave ... The lesson learnt is something that keeps us going, I remember someone saying "To let go of fear , you have to let go of someone you fear to lose the most"

Maybe people exiting our lives aint such a bad issue after all, I mean why do u think people come in at the first place, to make u feel good about yourselves, and once the you are at that point, the realization dawns upon you, maybe thts why marriages were formed in the first place, to gain insight into a person over a life's period...neway, people come and go...that is what it is..

Well, here's something I wrote sometime back...

Titled : Just One More time

I do not pray to god to give you back to me
because I now know, that you are free

but if I could feel, Just one more time

that first drop of rain on your lips
your heart in a moment of silence

that smell of rose oil on your neck
the realisation of a dream in your eyes

breathless, when I held you in my arms
that tremble of your lips when we kissed

my heart, whenever I saw you in red
complete, just by holding your hand

I would live on knowing you were with me
with a hope that someday I will be free

Until some more whacky conclusions...and some poems from the heart
With all my love,
--Maverick

To all my frens...who came in my lives and made it worthwhile

2005-07-02T09:50:00.000-07:00

To a friendship lost...???

There was a time when we were inseparable.
We both had this amazing telepathy thing, we were aware,
so aware of what the other was thinking of...
though we talked and chatted a lot , that was not our prime source of communication,
a look was enough to convey what a milllion words could not...
It was the purest form of affection I had ever experienced in life.
But now you seem so far away
We still talk, but we hardly communicate
Is our friendship lost?
Is the beautiful realtionship that means so much to me
lost for ever??
What went wrong
I keep wondering???
There was a time when we didnt have enough time to say all the things we wanted to talk about
but now our conversations dont move beyond Hello HRU??
But friend I am never ever gonna give up on you
I will be there for you always
For I will never ever forget, I remember every single moment ,
beautiful moments we have had
I will keep trying to 'talk' to u....
For I am and will always be your friend..

Captain Maverick

Just warming up...."trust"..phew

2005-07-01T13:28:00.000-07:00

I’ve been thinking lately, is “trust” really as important as we make it sound, and all these rhetorical hollywood movies have come to recognize it as a true sense of judging someone, but is not an overrated virtue ???

Think on these terms, “Ignorance is bliss”, “What you don’t know can’t harm you”, so if trust is something related to what you know, then I guess any liar with the power of conviction can get away with anything and everything. We are not compulsive liars, but I am not ashamed to say that I’ve told my share lies to get out of situations, which seem to go off for the moment, but then come right back to bite you in the rear.

I hear so often in movies or media of any kind, “trust is the key to a marriage, relationship”, Is it really ????

How many times have we ween partners asking for trustworthyness, yet some discreteness to be followed, the fact is we want discretion yet dont want others to have any, factual interpretations would lead us to beleive that although we might choose to ignore but we wont let people do the same...this is the oxymoronic state of mind we shell our lives in..

I have my doubts, trust comes into play only if it is made explicit, internally, everyone is possessive, and no one likes to be ignorant, but as they say, societal norms are not made to curb your natural instincts, so you better leave space for your partners, otherwise they will run for cover at the first signal.

If someone says that trust is to tell the other person about all the things you have done, so that trust is maintained, I guess we can classify that as honesty, but once broken, this so called “trust” can never mend, I think to myself why ??

Why the sudden awkward feeling trying to improve the current guilt of having ruined something important ??

Does anyone have an answer ???

Cheers mates,
Captain Maverick